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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26407612">Tomorrow Will Be Dazzling Too</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nobodyiscis/pseuds/Nobodyiscis'>Nobodyiscis</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek &amp; Paul/Levenson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Everyone Needs A Hug, Kinda, M/M, Mentioned Roselia (BanG Dream!), Strangers to Lovers, THE TAGS HELPED ME FIND OUT THERE ARE BANDORI FANFICS HERE, Trans Evan Hansen, Trans Jared Kleinman, Which isn't really mentioned but it's there, based on a roselia song, fast burn, i cant tag, i feel so bad for him aaaaa, i mean theres not a lot of dialogue in this so, im happy now, slut jared kleinman, they are both gay and bad at feelings, uhhh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:54:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,304</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26407612</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nobodyiscis/pseuds/Nobodyiscis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared feels like he's nothing but a tool for other people to use... Or he used to, until a new kid moved to his school.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan Hansen/Jared Kleinman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Tomorrow Will Be Dazzling Too</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey! this one is based on the song hidamari rhodonite by roselia. There is, like, a LOT of sex in this (nothing detailed, but like... Jared is the school slut, so there's a lot). Trigger warning for slut shaming. Also, this is not meant to be taken too seriously! anyway, I hope you enjoy reading!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jared has never been loved. Not by his parents - especially after he came out. Not by the rest of his family, either. Not by the few "friends" he had. Not by anybody. So he did te ony thing he knew he could to feel loved: sleep with every single man at his school. It wasn't that he didn't <em>know </em> that it was unhealthy. It's just that he didn't know any other way to feel like he wasn't absolutely useless - like he was nothing. His internet friends did. They knew a lot about healthy stuff, but eventually they got tired of him just like everyone else. So why would he listen? He felt fine that way. He felt like people wanted him around. Like he was needed. Until they were done with him, of course, and then he'd feel used - but the feeling disappeared as soon as someone else asked for his help. He's been doing the same things for almost three years now, and he was <em>perfectly fine</em>.</p><p>Then the new school year started. And other than all the new students that were always there - he tried to stay away from them - there was another new guy, too. One who was about his age.</p><p>Jared still remembers exactly how they met. The new guy seemed pretty shy, and had nowhere to seat during lunch, so he took a seat at an empty table. Jared had plenty of options, of course, and he'd probably choose one of them, but the new guy was just so pretty he <em>had </em>to seat with him. Jared found out that his name was Evan, and that he probable had some kind of anxiety disorder. He seemed very tense - Jared mentioned that and told him he could help. Evan seemed to like the idea, so Jared gave him his address and phone number. They agreed to meet up later that day.</p><p>Evan came over just like they have both agreed, and Jared immediately took him up to his room. Jared, seeing Evan was very confused and not wanting to be an asshole, explained the situation to him. Any other guy at school would've agreed, but not Evan.</p><p><em>I don't wanna... Do that, </em>he had said.</p><p><em>But why?  </em>Jared asked. <em>If it's about how good I am, I promise I'm skilled, ask anyone-</em></p><p><em>I-it's not that. I just... I don't want to use you like that, </em>Evan said, rubbing his arms. <em>It's like-- you're human, you know? </em></p><p>Something about that just... <em>Did </em>something to Jared.</p><p>He reassured Evan that it's fine, he wouldn't force him to do anything he wouldn't want to and they don't have to do that. He was an asshole, sure, but he wasn't that bad.</p><p>They agreed to stay as friends.</p><p>Everything felt different to Jared now. Sure, the part where he was the school slut didn't change, but he had a friend now. He didn't want to get used to it. All his other friends eventually left him, and he was sure it would happen with Evan too - but for some reason, Evan made him feel safe. Evan was there to comfort him after his parents would try to make him stop "pretending to be a boy", Evan was there when someone would laugh at him, Evan always treated him with respect. Jared, in return, could only try not to be as much of a bitch as he usually was, but Evan didn't care. He was there for him anyway.</p><p>Jared was happy. For a while. Then some things changed.</p><p>Evan didn't leave - surprisingly. Jared didn't leave him, either. He didn't love Evan any less.</p><p>But he started getting confused, because he wasn't sure he loved Evan the same way anymore.</p><p>Until he was sure. He was in love with Evan Hansen.</p><p>It was so <em>frustrating. </em>It was true that Evan was openly bisexual, and he was single, but Jared knew there was no way he'd love him back. Evan was sweet and kind and smart and so goddamn pretty and he had an amazing singing voice and he could fucking play piano and to Jared he was just perfect in every way, and Jared? He wasn't even close to perfect. He was stupid, he was ugly, he definitely wasn't nice, not to mention he was the school slut. There was absolutely no way someone like Evan would want someone like him.</p><p>So Jared tried his best to act normal. He kept talking to Evan as if he wasn't so in love with him that it physically hurt him sometimes, and he kept sleeping with other people who weren't his best friend. Feelings disappear with time, right?</p><p>Except Jared's didn't. In fact, it got worse every day. He couldn't tell Evan, but the more he kept it inside, the worse he felt. He started to miss the time when those feelings weren't there and he could just talk to his best friend without thinking about kissing him or worrying that he might say something weird. He didn't have hanahaki disease, of course (though he did worry about it, but he knew it was just because he's read too many fanfics), but sometimes he felt as if he could choke.</p><p>Then things changed again.</p><p>It was another night after Jared's parents yelled at him - nothing weird about that part. That always happened. He decided to call Evan, who was there about 10 minutes later - they found out that they actually lived pretty close to each other. Jared cried again, Evan comforted him, nothing unusual -until Evan did a very weird thing: for some reason, he decided to kiss Jared.</p><p>On his bed.</p><p>After he cried.</p><p>That was fucking stupid. Evan pulled away as soon as he realized what he was doing. He kept apologozing and saying that he hopes they can still be friends.</p><p>Jared asked him to kiss him again.</p><p>And Evan did. This time, Jared kissed him back. They both laughed at how stupid they were. </p><p><em>Are we boyfriends?  </em>Jared asked.</p><p><em>I... I really hope we are</em>, Evan said.</p><p><em>Then we are.</em> They both smiled, and Jared kissed Evan again, and everything felt perfect.</p><p>Once again, things were different in Jared's life.</p><p>No more hiding his feelings or being an asshole out of fear of rejection. No more sleeping with everyone at school, either. He felt different with Evan. Sure, he wanted to fuck him, but that wasn't it. He wanted to be there to comfort him when he was sad, and hear his laugh, and just <em>be </em>with him.</p><p>Even when Evan decided that he was ready, when they had their first time together, it was different. Not just because Evan was unexperienced, but because of how nice he was to Jared. He kept stopping to make sure that Jared was fine, and even when he did ask him to do something... Unusual, he made sure to ask nicely and checked at least 20 times that Jared was completely okay with it. Even after they were both done, Evan didn't kick him out or laughed at him or called him a slut. Evan continued acting loving, because that's what he was. Loving. And with him, Jared felt loved.</p><p>Evan reminded him of a song he knew.</p><p>
  <em>The days</em>
  <br/>
  <em>(Colorfully, brightly)</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Shine without gaps</em>
  <br/>
  <em>(Emotions I never knew)</em>
  <br/>
  <em>You taught me how to feel, and even more</em>
  <br/>
  <em>(The voice calling my name)</em>
  <br/>
  <em>The feeling of how special that is</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Is overflowing</em>
</p><p>That was what Evan did for him. He showed him what it was like to love and be loved. He made him feel safe. He made every day special.</p><p>
  <em>(A single drop of a smile)</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Diffuses into happiness</em>
  <br/>
  <em>(Even tearful nights)</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I'll accept everything, and believe</em>
  <br/>
  <em>(The world will change)</em>
  <br/>
  <em>It's so filled with kindness</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Enough that tomorrow will be dazzling too</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Thank you...</em>
</p>
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